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 Stories » Now Hiring: *

Now Hiring: *

submitted by qntmfred on Sunday, April 1 at 1:51 PM

It has recently become increasingly clear to me that I no longer have the capacity to adequately fulfill my obligations and responsibilities to this community. And with the imminent birth of my third child it seems in the best interest of everyone that I step down from my duties and make way for a new generation of TWW leadership. This morning, the moderators unanimously accepted my resignation. As such, the following positions are now available:

Chief Executive Officer
Technology Visionary
Ethics Committee Chair
Moderator Training Liaison
General Counsel
Assistant (to the) Advertising and Marketing Director
Benefits Coordinator
Executive Administrative Assistant to the Chief Executive Officer
Mailroom Clerk
Party Planning Committee Chair
Greeter

It has been a pleasure serving you. Stay tuned in the coming weeks for an announcement on my replacement(s).

TL;DR Happy Birthday TWW - you're getting a new staff.

...Seriously

posted by qntmfred on Sunday, April 1 at 1:51 PM

 Comments
MisterGreen
All American
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1st

4/1/2012 1:53:41 PM

smc
All American
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Dibs on mailroom clerk. Everyone knows that's where the true power lies.

4/1/2012 1:56:45 PM

The Coz
Tempus Fugitive
16071 Posts
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How can you have an "Assistant (to the) Advertising and Marketing Director" without also having an Advertising and Marketing Director?

4/1/2012 1:56:47 PM

smc
All American
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Easy. Volume.

4/1/2012 1:59:07 PM

Kickstand
All American
7472 Posts
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Can you give some insight on what compensation will be like? This will greatly influence my decision on what to apply for. I'd settle for Mailroom Clerk for $40k a year.

4/1/2012 2:14:13 PM

skywalkr
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posted by qntmfred on Sunday, April 1 at 1:51 PM

[Edited on April 1, 2012 at 2:18 PM. Reason : .]

4/1/2012 2:18:28 PM

alexwbush
All American
3344 Posts
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DIBS GREETER

4/1/2012 2:27:22 PM

A Tanzarian
salad syrup
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4/1/2012 2:29:10 PM

smc
All American
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Quote :
"skywalkr
posted by qntmfred on Sunday, April 1 at 1:51 PM
"


4/1/2012 2:39:16 PM

Agent 0
All American
5638 Posts
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http://youtu.be/QdYQvMYWP5k

4/1/2012 2:42:40 PM

smc
All American
9145 Posts
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Quote :
"you're getting a new staff"


Don't tell DivaBaby19.

4/1/2012 2:44:37 PM

Beethoven
All American
3209 Posts
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I call General Counsel.

4/1/2012 2:52:50 PM

Hiro
All American
3852 Posts
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April Fools yo.

4/1/2012 3:49:45 PM

The Coz
Tempus Fugitive
16071 Posts
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Oh my gosh! You don't say?!

But what actually IS interesting is that qntmfred posted this news item 12 years to the minute after the supposed ideation of TDub! site_site.aspx GG.

4/1/2012 3:52:55 PM

Krallum
56A0D3
14419 Posts
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Tww has been a joke this entire time

I'm Krallum and I approved this message.

4/1/2012 4:36:25 PM

NCSUStinger
enough already
59788 Posts
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i got ethics chair

4/1/2012 5:13:54 PM

Biofreak70
All American
33173 Posts
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didn't we do this (or some variation of it) last year for april fools?

4/1/2012 6:01:31 PM

quagmire02
All American
43743 Posts
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i'll do whichever job gets me access to all the TWW n00ds

4/1/2012 6:09:47 PM

BIGcementpon
World Traveler
11086 Posts
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It is an honor and a pleasure to accept the nomination and subsequent role as TWW's Chief Executive Officer. As such, I pledge to make our house a home for all those who choose to reside here. TWW is a place for the people, not those who merely seek power over others.

4/1/2012 10:57:19 PM

BJCaudill21
Not an alcoholic
6185 Posts
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I think the new owner should have to be approved unanimously by the Users

4/1/2012 11:06:08 PM

DivaBaby19
Davidbaby19
45080 Posts
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Quote :
"Don't tell DivaBaby19."


what's this mean?!?!?!

4/1/2012 11:31:45 PM

EMCE
Cocaine Biceps
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4/2/2012 9:43:46 AM

Klatypus
Freedom Twerker
5786 Posts
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what is the asterisk for?

4/2/2012 10:59:20 AM

qntmfred
retired
38527 Posts
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asterisk#Computer_interfaces

Quote :
"the asterisk is the wildcard character and stands for any string of characters."

4/2/2012 11:35:20 AM

BigMan157

100417 Posts
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%

4/2/2012 12:45:09 PM

Geppetto
All American
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we'll first need to move the island

4/2/2012 1:43:42 PM

Byrn Stuff
backpacker
18667 Posts
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I should be the greeter: I'm one of the nicest motherfuckers on here

4/2/2012 2:50:35 PM

Klatypus
Freedom Twerker
5786 Posts
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Greeter, I have walmart references


or mailroom clerk as long as I can use the mailroom as I see fit

4/3/2012 2:40:22 PM

BIGcementpon
World Traveler
11086 Posts
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Maybe the role of General Counsel would be more fitting for me. As long as it comes with moderatorship.

4/3/2012 4:10:49 PM

Ernie
All American
45940 Posts
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So this is why you wouldn't make me a mod...

You sandbaggin son of a bitch!

4/4/2012 11:09:44 PM

kdogg(c)
All American
2602 Posts
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4/6/2012 10:52:52 PM

vonjordan3
AIR
43669 Posts
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Are we all getting old and having kids?...........

4/8/2012 1:46:38 PM

aaronburro
BigMan rules
49639 Posts
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do any of these jobs come with the perk of making sweet music with punchmonk?

4/8/2012 4:54:16 PM

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